Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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