it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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