Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
