I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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