Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
