We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
