Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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