I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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