I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
