wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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