Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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