Dual....:-)
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
All the doctor said was why
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
