There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
bring money and cleavage
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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