You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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