I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
