I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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