Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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