I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
