This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
whose parrot is this?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
