she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
