Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize