I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
