There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
