we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
