I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
