I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
