I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize