Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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