If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
