South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
