you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
