11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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