who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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