please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
