apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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