So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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