it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
