If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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