Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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