Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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