i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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