this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
