In the future we'll all be gay
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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