I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
