Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
