I don't think brook has ever known best
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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