i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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