it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
