fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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