quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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