doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
