We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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