he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
