whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
