She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
