nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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