Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
