I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
