dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she peed on how many people?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
