just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
