'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
