we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
