I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
