Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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