dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
