that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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